Hollywood -- Tara Reid's left breast had
one of the most embarrassing public
debuts in recent showbiz memory, as it
unceremoniously popped out in front of
photographers at a party hosted by P.
Diddy. Critics are already mocking the
boob for its lack of firmness and
misshapen nipple from what most are
saying is botched augmentation surgery.
But in an exclusive interview with
Dateline Hollywood, Reid's boob says
it's the victim of a rare disease that
it's in the midst of recovering from.
The breast adds that it wasn't supposed
to make its public debut until an
upcoming video with Paris Hilton and
four young men. The boob is now
considering a request for legal
separation from Reid for negligent care. Dateline
Hollywood: That was quite a debut
you had this week.
Tara Reid's Left Boob: Please
don't remind me of it. I wasn't ready to
come out for months. I'm still
recovering from a rare disease.
DH: I'm sorry to hear that.
Tell me about your sickness.
TRLB: I was hoping to keep it
personal, but I guess I can't now. I'm
the victim of a rare genetic disease
that results in a misshapen nipple.
(SOBS) It's very painful, but I'm
undergoing treatment.
DH: That doesn't explain the
sagging, though. As painful as it is, I
have to ask this: Critics are saying the
misshapen nipple and sagging are the
result of a badly done breast
augmentation procedure. True?
TRLB: That's outrageous! I'm
not saying I ever have been worked on,
but if I were, it would be only by
professionals. The sagging is simply
because I've put on a little weight
recently. I'm working to get it off,
though. That's why I wasn't ready to be
seen.
DH: If you weren't supposed to
be seen, though, what happened?
TRLB: That dumb bitch Tara was
totally wasted and didn't put the dress
on securely. Then when she pulled off
her coat, my shelter disappeared and
there I was face to face with dozens of
cameras.
DH: I'm sensing a lot of anger
against the woman who carries you around
every day.
TRLB: From Carson Daly's mouth
to some really painful wonder bras to
this event now, I've had enough abuse
from her. I'm seriously considering
looking for a new home. She'll be
nothing without me!
DH: What about your plans to
appear in an upcoming film with Paris
Hilton and several young men?
TRLB: Thanks to this incident,
I might lose that booking. Apparently
they're talking to Jennifer Love
Hewitt's right tit now. Thank you VERY
much, Tara! |
